Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust: White Christmas

Oh man, did I take my sweet time getting my thoughts down. I swear 2/3 of this post was done in December!

Holidays bring mixed emotions for me, now that I'm married and have two families to spend time with. No matter where Matt and I go, one of us has moments of grief for the traditions, relationships and memories we had with our families before marriage.

Before we left for Boise, Pastor Richard Dahlstrom gave a sermon on the upcoming holidays and the frustration that comes with them (1Thes 5:16-18). He explained that many of us look forward to the holidays and the joy they bring, but holidays may also reveal the disappointing gap between our expectations and reality. For Matt and I, most of our disappointment during the holidays stems from experiencing unfamiliar traditions and missing others. Overall, Matt and I are still learning how to adjust our expectations as we alternate holidays and try to blend our family traditions together.

When we booked our plane tickets for Boise I was pretty nervous. Through a few life events, our two-week trip was extended to three weeks, and I was concerned about spending that much time with my in-laws, and the grandparents in a city I wasn’t familiar with. Matt was planning on studying a couple hours every day so I was left to wonder what on earth I was going to do to occupy my time.

Luckily, the break went much better than expected. The first few days were pretty rough as we adjusted into the family routine surrounded by the chaos of remodeling. Many tears were shed and lots of chocolate was consumed J But as the days flew by, things got better. We did had a few ups and downs as we handled the gap between our expectations and reality of being home for the holidays, but that's family. There were moments when we reminisced for the holiday traditions we had growing up – it's hard not expecting them to be the same, and when they don’t go as planned, it's even more disappointing.

I think it will be a few more years before we embrace alternating holidays because we’re still acclimating to different holiday traditions. Currently we try to blend our family traditions by including special food items or family activities that are important to Matt and I. For example, Matt lamented (a lot) about missing his mom’s sausage stuffing at Thanksgiving, so I made it for him at my parents’ house. Similarly, my family always watches the Disney Christmas Parade, so Matt made sure to ~~watch~~ suffer through it with me on Christmas morning, haha. However, the best part of alternating holidays is the late night conversations spent planning our own future family traditions based off our favorite memories.

Despite the bumps along the way, Matt and I were blessed to take full advantage of the holidays by spending them all with family thanks to my flexible work schedule as a nanny. Last year, my work schedule only permitted us a few days off, so time with family was short-lived. We love our families and the time we have to spend with them; spending a week with my parents in Salem for Thanksgiving and three weeks in Boise with my in-laws was wonderful. I’m thankful we used all the time available to see our families because we’re not sure if or when we’ll have this much time again.

I hope you also had a wonderful and memorable holiday season with your family!